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  1. Hi Haley!

    I really liked the meme you included for the home page of your portfolio. After reading Fluffy and his sticks, I thought the characters you included for the story was very creative. It brought the story to life in a different way through the three puppies and their mother. I liked how you made fluffy the runt, and how fluffy is easy going and not greedy at all. I think adding more to the story about the cat and how she made Fluffy take care of her for three days would make the story even better! I felt that it was a quick part of the story which could have more detail to it. I loved how the cat turned into a human that would take care of Fluffy forever! What happened to Fluffy's siblings and her mother? The picture that you added of the evil cat and fluffy was really cute.

  2. Hi Haley!

    I loved your meme of Dwight on the first page! It was funny and lighthearted! I also loved your story about Fluffy and his Sticks! I love how you creatively took a twist on the story: Beauty and the Basilisk. The evil cat being the enemy of the story was both hilarious and clever. I was laughing reading it because I have an evil cat of my own, so I could just picture what this cat was like haha! The image of the evil cat was perfect too! I would have loved to see more detail of the interaction between Fluffy and the cat along with some dialogue! Also, did Fluffy go back home to his mom and siblings and the human took care of them all? I would love to know some more details! Overall, great job!

  3. Hello, I really enjoyed how fun and light-hearted this story is. You really turned a kind of dark and twisted story into something more fun and cute. I also like the creativity of turning the main characters into animals instead of humans. One thing I might suggest is just adding more details so that the reader can really imagine the story and feel as if they are in it. Or maybe you could add some more emotion into the story to draw the readers in like maybe explain why the cat felt they he did or why fluffy was so eager to leave her family. I thought your author’s note was really good and summarizing the original story and explained how you really made this story into your own. Overall, I really enjoyed your story and your fun twist on the original.

  4. Hey, Haley!

    I know I'm echoing what everyone has already said, but I love the meme and humor you brought out on the introductory page of your page! It makes the scene a lot more lighthearted and welcoming for new readers and bloggers when they load into your page, especially for those who are into the show. You are making fans before they even read your stories! I also really enjoy the accessibility of your portfolio. It is easy to navigate and read. There are no awkward breaks between stories and images, but rather they are organized in a way a reader can view the images you have on your story while also reading your story. Have you considered adding some dialogue to your stories? I always feel like it includes the reader a lot more when dialogue is present, as it makes it feel as though the reader is present and has his or her own dialogue! When I started including it in my stories, it added variability and a new style to my new stories, so they all didn't seem the same. You could do that for your next story when you add it! Well done.

  5. Hey Haley! I really like that your first page is a meme. It really adds to the humorous vibe in your project. I also really liked your two stories and the pictures that went with them. I really like how many funny pictures you have. I was wondering why the 2nd stories page looked different from the rest though? The change in page layout was kind of jarring. I think if you made every story page like that it could work though. Also, on your intro page, there's a bunch of blank pages for the project, and I was really confused at first because I thought that your stories were going to be there. I think either removing them or making them into links to your stories would be a good idea. Overall, I really like your project, and with a bit of clean up I think it'll be great.

  6. Hey Haley! I really enjoyed the meme on your homepage. The Office is one of my all-time favorite TV shows, so that made me laugh! I read your story Dog vs Cat, and I really enjoyed it. I really liked the original version of the story, so before I read your version, I was interested in how you would be retelling it. I enjoy your writing because it is very easy to read and it has a smooth flow. I think it would really add some imagery to your story if you were to add some physical description to both Trixy and Spike. I think it would help the readers to get a better idea of what the two characters physically look like. I like how you changed up the original story and got rid of the mouse character. I think that eliminating the mouse really helps the grudge between the cat and dog grow since there in no middle man. Great Job!

  7. Hi Haley! I loved your homepage and the photo that you have as your cover photo. I love The Office, so I enjoyed seeing that photo when I first pulled up your homepage. I think you did a great job with keeping your homepage organized and clean. It is always refreshing for me to see a portfolio that is clean looking. I loved reading your introduction post and learning more about you. I love getting to know my classmates better because I think it is important to get to know others in your class. I also loved reading your story, The Creation of Fluffy and Roxy. You did a great job with that story, I loved it. I was interested the whole time. It was very organized and clean. I also loved the pictures of your dogs in your introduction post. Great job. I can't wait to read more of your stories.

  8. Hi Haley :)
    I really like your portfolio. The meme on your Home Page was a nice touch. It was good to laugh a little!
    For your first story, I think it's one of my favorite retellings of the Beauty and the Basilisk this semester so far! I could kind of see where it was going in the beginning. I figured it was going to go the Beauty route, but which version was fun figuring out. Would it be Beauty and the Beast or Beauty and the Basilisk? I really liked at the end the cat turned into a human, and you gave the reader that friendship-love ending. It's so common there's a romantic-love ending, which isn't bad at all, but it's nice to get a different type of love ending!
    Your second story was also really good. It made me sad, but it was a good origin story of why dogs dislike cats. I like that you gave your animal characters names. I think there are some instances where the generic Dog and Cat names work best, but in your story the names Spike and Trixy give them almost immediate characterization that it works really well. Great job!

  9. Hi Haley!

    I love the concept of your Portfolio being based around dogs and cats since I have a passion for animals and always have.

    As to your Author's Note for the story "Fluffy," I think you could add in a little more detail about what exactly happens in the original towards the end with the basilisk and having Mary do terrible things to it because that was still a little unclear for me. It might help to clear up the shock from the cat being turned into a human from simply falling out of a tree. Your other Author's Note looks great though!

    I would also suggest adding some more color and photos to your Portfolio to really make it pop! Other than that, I really enjoyed these stories. They were simple, but effective and entertaining. I always love nice little stories that include animals.

    Great job so far!

  10. Hey Hayley,

    I have really enjoyed looking at your work so far! I think your website is very simple and bare bones, though this isn't necessarily a problem because it is still very accessible, easy to read, and very professional looking. I appreciate the meme from The Office at the beginning and I really liked that you included a table of contents! I really like the animal theme that you have going for your stories and I really enjoyed reading your writing! I think the biggest suggestion would make to you is to maybe include more dialogue within your stories, I think it helps the reader connect to the reading a little more and it is a great realistic detail to add. Great job overall! :)

  11. Hi Haley! Your portfolio was wonderful to look at this morning, I really enjoyed reading the different stories you wrote. My favorite story on your portfolio site was Dog vs Cat! This story caught my attention in the first place because of the title. I had always wondered why dogs and cats were enemies but I never put much thought into it! Your story had so many great details included that I could picture what was happening between Spike and Trixie. I honestly expected Spike to be the one who stayed with the new owners who had the ring, not to return to his original owners to find a scolding and Trixie receiving praise for finding the ring! I thought this was a great ending to your story and it flowed really well. Overall, I loved reading your portfolio!

  12. Haley, your meme of Dwight Shrute really made me laugh when I clicked on your website and I agree with him that a website can always improve!I like how you incorporated animals as living, talking characters that had unique adventures. You really brought them to life and I liked how in the fox and horse story the horse regains his owners trust! this was very heartwarming.

  13. Hey Haley! I really enjoyed reading through your portfolio! I thought the opening meme of Dwight was a nice touch as well. I read through "Fluffy" and "Dog vs Cat" and I liked them both. I think your author's notes were extremely helpful in understanding the context of the stories because I was unfamiliar with both of them. I think I enjoyed "Dog vs Cat" because of the twist at the end! I was so sure that they were both going to be rewarded for their good deeds, but I was surprised to see the reasoning for the grudge between the animals. If I had to critique something I would say that the website could do with a little re-vamping. It is a little plain, but that is also just a personal preference of mine! Overall, I think you did a good job with the stories and I hope you had a great semester!


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