When God created the heavens and the earth, he realized there was something important missing- inhabitants. When God thought of all of the different creatures he could create to inhabit his beautiful creation, he decided he needed something lovable, that would appreciate all that he had done. What did he decide on you may ask? First- a fluffy puppy. God created this lovable, cheerful creature from the dirt, and he was very happy with his decision. God named this fluffy puppy what you can imagine: Fluffy. Soon enough, Fluffy became lonely, and bored with no other creatures to play with.
God decided to create another being, this time from Fluffy himself. By taking one of sweet Fluffy's ribs, God created Roxy: a loving companion for Fluffy. God decided on the rib, after thoughts of many different options during creation. Why not the mouth? Some might ask. Because if created from the mouth, Roxy would spend her life barking at everything. Why not the paw? Because Roxy would spend her time digging holes everywhere. God settled on the rib, so he could create something that was made from love.
Fluffy loved playing with Roxy, chewing on sticks, getting treats, and eating all of the dog food that God would give to them. Fluffy fell in love with Roxy. Roxy was new and exciting, unlike the original dog that God tried to give him. The original dog that God tried to give to Fluffy as a companion was also made from the dirt o the ground, exactly like Fluffy. This dog was too similar to Fluffy, and like the old rumor tells, he did not love her because he knew her too well, and she was like an old friend.
Fluffy and Roxy's love was celebrated in the heavens, and the angels and all of creation rejoiced at the new love. Fluffy and Roxy were then able to make more fluffy puppies, and soon the whole world was inhabited with loveable, sweet, fluffy puppies.
What's up Haley!
ReplyDeleteI loved your take on Adam and Eve. You could not have chosen better animals to portray these characters as puppies are the most adorable things ever. I liked how you brought your own writing style and crafted this story. I thought the backstory about fluffy showed why he was so excited for Roxy to show up. I cannot wait to read more of your work!
Best,
Payton
Haley, your usage of puppies in this retelling was a genius move, and I definitely would like to think that God truly made a puppy his first creation. That said, I like how your writing was simple, but still detailed and the story flowed naturally. So naturally, in fact, that the idea of puppies being the first creation is not too far fetched. Anyway, I can't wait to read more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteHaley,
ReplyDeleteThis was probably the cutest rendition of adam and eve possible, and i loved how it was very simple and easy to understand, because biblical language can be a little complicated. the story line was great to attract all types of audiences and it definitely appealed to the senses, i love the idea of fluffy puppies running around in the clouds. great job!
Hi Haley,
ReplyDeleteFor this week, we're working on TAG feedback strategy, so this comment might be a little lengthy.
I loved your idea for this story. The world could never have enough dogs, and it seems like God agrees! You also had some pretty fun one-liners in your story that gave it some flavor. It sounded like you, not so much like the original telling.
Do dogs replace humans completely in this universe you created? I want to know more about this type of world. I'm trying to imagine how fluffy dogs would handle 2020 lol.
One of my suggestions for you would be to look at the organization in the story. Some things seemed a little out of place. For example, at the end of the story, you mention that God created a dog before Roxy as a companion to Fluffy. Since you put it at the end of the story, instead of at the beginning (when it would have happened chronologically) it made me a little confused. I felt like I missed a part of the story!
Anyway, nice job! I look forward to reading your other stories.